| People come, people go.... |
[May. 3rd, 2009|10:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  I'm not quite sure. | ] |
I just realized that today marks a year since I've had any communication whatsoever with Ben.
How truly bizarre. He used to be the center of everything, and now it's been a year since I've had anything at all to do with him. And I almost didn't even notice the fact.
Which is not to say he's disappeared. On the contrary - I would say that rarely a day goes by where he doesn't enter my mind for some reason or another. I mean, someone and something that is that huge a part of one's life for that long doesn't just disappear. The days are just much fewer and farther between when I actually dwell on him (although they do still occur occasionally).
But the fact that though he's not absent from my mind, he has been completely absent from my life for a year, after he used to be so important to my every day existence for so long - that's just hard to comprehend.
I have no idea what to feel right now. Relieved? Sad? Nostalgic? Free?
Or nothing at all?
All I can say is that when it all started, I never in a million years would have thought it ever would have come to this.
And that's really all the reflection on the occasion I can muster up at the moment. |
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| Blame it on a simple twist of fate |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|11:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | you were my angel | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  now you are real | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Maria McKee - If Love is a Red Dress | ] |
So here's the thing: I'm pretty sure (read 99% positive) I'm staying in DC next year. Not because I have a job, but because I'm starting to have connections - I know people at theatres, people know me, and if they don't, when I tell them what I've been doing they'll at least know what it means and who I've been working with. I'm not expecting to get a theatre job next year, but I will hopefully get to do important un-paid theatre things while working some day-job to pay the rent. Which is what I would be doing anywhere, but here I might actually get to do so with some important places and people that, frankly, would look really good on my resume at this point in my career.
And of course, part of me just feels dreadful about abandoning Flat Earth and everyone in Boston, but after talking to both Cora and Kevin about it (where would I be without those two?) - I know that this is the time in my life where I need to do what I need to do and be where I need to be, career wise. Of course geographically, the place I *want* to be is New England - going home this past weekend for Passover definitely confirmed that. New England is just in my blood, an no matter how long I live anywhere else, it will always be home to me. But I do like DC, and it will be nice to live somewhere for more than a year....
None of the specifics are set yet, having only made this decision in the past month or so; all I know is that my current job ends on July 10. I'm thinking after that I'll put my stuff in storage and take a vacation for the rest of the summer - considering that between now and then I will have a total of I think 4 days off - and then come back to DC and move somewhere (I don't want to think about it now) and get a job (another thing I don't want to think about right now). This is all very subject to change... but if I do take a month and a half vacation, I expect to spend some of it visiting all of you!
So anyway, that's the big life-decision that's happened to me recently. The job itself is kind of insane and stressful, and there are certain elements of it that I certainly will not miss. But I've been AD-ing the Acting Fellows project, which is an adaptation of Hamlet, and it's been nice to actually be involved in a creative process again - I'd forgotten how much I missed that. And then I get to be the second assistant director (the assistant to the AD, basically) on King Lear, which is a remount of the 2006 Goodman production directed by Bob Falls and starring Stacy Keach - and that promises to be an incredibly awesome experience. Of course, I have to keep up with all my office work on top of that, so it means I get to pull a whole lot of 15 hour days and work 7 days a week for a month and a half, but hey - it's not like I have anything else going on in my life.
( Namely because )
And, because I have a song to go with everything (and 95% of the time, it's Dylan - with the pronoun genders switched, as usual): ( Simple Twist of Fate )
I'm sure it's indicative of some psychological issue that I can't process anything that happens in my personal life without a song (or several) with which to define it....
Anyhow, that's me from the past... however long it's been since I last updated. To conclude: you all should come visit me in DC. That is not a request, it is a command! |
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| Some were born to sing the blues... |
[Feb. 14th, 2009|03:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  you know, tilting at windmills | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Journey, in my head - blame the show... | ] |
Who knows. It’s Valentine’s Day – technically, as it is almost 4:00 in the morning – another factor – and I have been drinking, so I might as well spill it all out ( here. )
But tomorrow I am having a Bitter and Single Valentine’s Day Extravaganza with some fellow bitter and single friends, and it promises to be exactly the catharsis I need get some of this out of my system.
And, of course, spilling your guts on the Internet always helps, too.
Anyhow, I should go to sleep, as to be well rested for the aforementioned Extravaganza! I hope you all have wonderful Valentine’s Days, whether you are buying into the commercialized holiday (nothing at all wrong with that!), deliberately dissenting, or making it suit your own purposes (I’m somewhere in between those last two, I suppose) – or if to you, it’s just another Saturday, well, then I hope you have a perfectly lovely Saturday! |
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| No, this is not the promised Inauguration post |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|10:20 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen | ] |
I will write one soon, I promise - right now it's still too close for me to write anything even remotely coherent about.... I need a bit more perspective; at this point I would just devolve into an emotional mess....
So in the meantime: just in case any of you somehow forgot what a ginormous dork I am - this evening in the shower I had two ideas for the BEST CLASSES EVER that I will totally teach if I am ever a professor.
The first is a class called "Not Your Grandma's Shakespeare," and it would look at adaptations and interpretations of Shakespeare from 1960 to the present, especially ones that do something crazy and different. For instance: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead; The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (Abridged); Neil Gaiman's takes on Midsummer and The Tempest in Sandman; Julie Taymor's Titus and Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet; complete reworkings, from the classics (i.e. Kurosawa's Throne of Blood and Ran) to the wonderful newer ones (i.e. Scotland, P.A.), to the silly teen ones (Ten Things I Hate About You, etc.). We would of course watch/read these along with the original plays, and discuss and analyze how they use the text, what they illuminate in the original text, whether they illuminate anything in the original text, etc.
The second class would basically be a version of what I did for my Div III - combining academic and theatrical Shakespeare. The entire class would be working on one play. One half would be studying it from an academic standpoint - reading it as literature, reading academic articles, writing papers, etc. - and the other half would be mounting a production of the play. (These things would happen simultaneously, not consecutively.) Like my Div III, the point would be to see how working on a play from both angles simultaneously would provide a deeper, richer understanding of the play, and to see how the academic study could inform the production, and vice-versa.
DO THESE NOT SOUND LIKE THE BEST CLASSES EVER??? You know you totally want to take them.
In other news, Oscar nominations are up, and I have some SERIOUS catching up to do....
... Everything in my life seems very small and insignificant compared to what happened on Tuesday. More on that when I am able. |
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| INTRODUCING My Secret Superhero Identity: The Eternal Wingman!! |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|03:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  life amuses me! | ] |
Sometimes, I absolutely love my life, because it is so fucking predictable that I know exactly what lies around every corner! And because of that, I am well prepared for the sadness the sights around those corners would otherwise bring, and can therefore enjoy a hearty laugh at the whole situation instead of actually feeling sad! I have found that it is always good to have a solid sense of humor about these things - otherwise life really would be a shambles, now wouldn't it. (I know someone famous said something famous along these lines (about how life was far too important to be taken seriously, etc.), but I cannot for the life of me quite remember who or what at the moment....) (Although to add another famous quote from a famous person, there is Oscar Wilde's lovely line from A Woman of No Importance: "The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived." Done and done, Mr. Wilde, sir!)
In other news, do not fear, I will make a complete report on my full Inauguration Experience after the whole crazy event is over! It's still rather inconceivable how damn close the actual event is... About freaking time, too! What a weight off the collective nation's chest when he finally swears in and Bush is officially out.... |
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| It's nearly 2009 - when did that happen? |
[Dec. 31st, 2008|07:42 pm] |
Alright. I figure, since it is New Year's and all, I should actually do some kind of real update.
( So. )
I will say I am very sad I can't be with you all for New Year's - but I hope we all have good ones anyway, and I"m sure one of these years I'll manage to be there. Here's hoping I get to see a lot of you a lot more often in 2009 than I did in 2008! Lots of love, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
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| To be here now |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|02:39 am] |
We left our apartments on East Capitol Street as soon as Obama was done speaking, headed for the Capitol, just to be there. We rounded the front, and could hear in the distance cheering. As if drawn by a magnetic force, we headed towards it, slowly joined by other small groups, all moving, inexplicably, in the same direction. The trickle became a stream. "Where are you headed?" we were all shouting at each other over the din of horns honking and people cheering. "I don't know!" people cried, laughing, "We're following the noise, the crowd, this feeling -" until we all realized we were headed down Penn Ave, toward the White House. Every car passed with windows down, horns blaring, passengers with their arms thrown in the air, cheering. Spontaneous chants of "Yes we can!" and "Yes we did!" broke out every few minutes. The stream became a river, the river a flood. We flung ourselves, arms outstretched, into groups of strangers, for high-fives and hugs. The diversity of the crowd was astounding. We swarmed, ecstatic, in front of the White House, cheering, hugging, laughing, crying, calling friends and family. I managed to find my brother in the crowd, and we, all of us, the millions, all across the country, raised our hands and our voices in hope and praise and joy and wonder, overwhelmed by the knowledge, by the proof, that yes, Yes We Can.
Fifty years from now, I will say to my grandchildren, "I was there."
A woman on the radio talks about revolution
but it's already passed her by
Bob Dylan didn't have this to sing about
You know it feels good to be alive
I was alive and I waited, waited
I was alive and I waited for this
Right here, right now
There is no other place I'd rather be
Right here, right now
Watching the world wake up from history
I saw the decade in
when it seemed the world could change
in the blink of an eye
and if anything, then there's your sign
of the times
I was alive and I waited, waited
I was alive and I waited for this
Right here, right now
There is no other place I'd rather be
Right here, right now
Watching the world wake up from history |
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| At long last |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|08:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Midnight In Her Eyes - The Black Keys | ] |
First off, my apologies for being so woefully neglectful in updating the Internet about Life – I know you’ve all been breathlessly waiting to hear how the hell things are down here. Well, ( wait no more! ) |
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| You would think I'd learn from my mistakes. |
[Aug. 2nd, 2008|02:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
I really need to stop falling for these sort of guys. First Damon, now this.
I am really, really fucking crushed. My heart is fucking broken.
... sometimes I hate loving this team.
In other news, DC is pretty damn good, thus far... I promise, a more in depth post at some point in the near future. No, really. I swear.
... Man. I really, really fucking loved Manny. Like, a lot.
Goddammit. |
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| Reports from the land of SWELTERING HEAT |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|03:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
So, I'm in DC. Weird. I don't yet have internet in my apartment, so I'm using the ridiculously slow connection in my mom's hotel room. Hopefully I'll be able to find a nice cafe with internet somewhere nearby, but I'll probably be somewhat absent from the internet until the people can come in and install it (I don't know when that's happening yet, since it's Sunday and I haven't been able to call them).
Anyway, I have to actually unpack, which I have not yet made any progress on, despite arriving yesterday (I spent last night on the pullout couch in my mom's hotel room, since I was too tired to think about making the bed in my apartment). I am determined to find internet on my lunch break tomorrow, however, so a more substantial update them. In the meantime, I will have to try to survive sans internet. Oh, the pain! |
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| I can't help it. It's in my nature. |
[Jul. 16th, 2008|12:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | crickets, and Scott the Rat drinking from his water bottle | ] |
I wish that I could tell him how much I miss him (the guy I was seeing up in Portland, that is - I'm done missing that other person I used to miss). I wish I could send him a text message or something saying "I miss you." But we never exchanged a single word about how we felt toward each other, so it doesn't seem appropriate. And I'm too afraid that he doesn't feel the same toward me (i.e. that he feels how I intended to feel - unattached, just having a good time, completely finished with it all now that it's over, etc.).
Fucking PMS. Not that I wasn't feeling like this already (because I was), but it all becomes much more intense when I'm all hormonal - and when I'm not, I'm much less prone to bursting into tears when things happen like my parents saying "He seemed really nice - and he seemed to really like you."
The two bottles of wine plus beer that my parents and I had at dinner are also probably not helping the situation.
I should go to bed.
A picnic at Puffer's Pond with picture books with the lovely ladies Marie Laure and Elizabeth tomorrow promises to be particularly pleasant.
Have watched They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, 25th Hour, the first six episodes of Rome, Hellboy II, and The Crying Game in the past week or so (in more or less that order, the last of them this evening). I highly, highly recommend all of them. |
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| Blues ain't nothing but a woman (or a man) on your mind |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|02:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | just a little blue | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Moses Atwood - Dolores | ] |
Last night's chicken dinner party was a great success, despite neither Cora nor I having heard from anyone until shortly before dinner was ready. All told, six bottles (including one magnum) of wine were consumed. We were very impressed with ourselves. There was singing and playing of the piano, and of course, Settlers of Catan - which of course, Debi won again, being evil as she is. (Favorite interchange of the evening - Debi asking Nick for help, Nick refusing, Debi saying "You're my husband!" and Nick replying, "But you're evil!")
Now I'm waiting on Cora for beaching, and feeling slightly down, because right after everyone left I was all of a sudden punched in the stomach with missing the guy I was seeing up in Portland. This is largely because it hit me fully that I really am not going to see him again in a romantic/whatever capacity. I mean, I knew that already, but I was still harboring this vain hope that he'd come down and visit this weekend. But it's Thursday, and it's pretty clear that's not going to happen. And it seems unlikely that if he passes through DC at some point, that it would still be an option. I could be wrong, of course; he could pass through DC three months from now and it could be that neither of us is otherwise engaged and we could fall back into it for a couple days and it could be lovely. But somehow it seems unlikely. And of course, there's the tiny part of me that keeps saying "It's only Thursday, he could still say Hey, what are you up to this weekend, care for a visit?" but I know that is not actually going to happen. It is really, truly the end. But there was never an ending, you know, because that's just not the nature of the relationship, it was never a Relationship so there never needed to be an End, which was one of the wonderful things about it. But it does make it hard to comprehend it really being over.
I'm trying to just be thankful that we had such a fabulous last bit of time together, to just be happy that it ended (not Ended, just ended) so well. I'm trying to remember that it's better to have had that wonderful last time and not get one more weekend, than to have one more weekend and have the ending be not as perfect. |
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| In which I am confused by feelings vs. what I'm supposed to feel |
[Jul. 9th, 2008|11:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pleased? guilty? confused... | ] |
In the months after Ben broke up with me, I, like most people who are dumped, I imagine, felt like pretty much the most unattractive, undesireable human being to ever walk the face of the planet. I'd go out with the other interns (all of whom were girls), and they would all get hit on all evening by their preferred gender, while I was blatantly ignored. Well, no, it wasn't that bad, but that's certainly what it felt like. And all I wanted was a little confidence boost - something everybody who's just been dumped desires - and I just couldn't get one.
And then I started seeing this guy, and of course that made a world of difference - see a couple entries ago for all my feelings on that. And then of course most of the times I went out, I was with him, so that was that. I re-accepted myself as the kind of girl who doesn't get hit on in bars, who finds relationships other ways, better ones than you would find being hit on in a bar. And I started to heal.
But then last night I was out with a severely diminished team at pub trivia near where a friend lives, and a Random Straight Guy, as Cora so aptly put it, joined our team because he had been edged out of his. I figured what the hell, I was feeling confident, I'm leaving town in less than a week, it never works anyway, and I started flirting with him, because why the hell not - I'm completely single now, after all. And lo and behold, he flirted back. Very much so. The entire evening. Even very smoothly left his number in my little notebook that we were using for trivia.
... And I liked it. I liked being hit on in a bar. Not that I'm going to start trying to pick up guys in bars all the time, because I really don't think it's a good way to find a relationship at all, but still. It felt really nice. I've never, ever in my life been a girl that random guys hit on, in any context; I'd accepted that, and as probably a good thing. But now apparently I am, or rather, I can be - and it feels good.
And now I feel mighty guilty, because I know I'm buying into heteronormative cultural stereotypes, etc. etc. etc., and I know I should feel bad. I know I should be disgusted by the whole thing. But I had fun. He wasn't sleazy, there was no unwanted touching or anything of the sort, and no, he's probably not the kind of guy I would ever actually date - but I realized that I'd come out the other side of the whole Ben thing intact, stronger even, more confident. Of course, that's largely thanks to the guy I was seeing in Portland - I'd still be very unhealed and unwhole if it wasn't for that. That's what made me realize there could be life and other relationships after your first great love has broken your heart. As much as I hate to admit it, Ben was right when he told me months ago that it would be a while before people would flirt with me, because as much as I tried to act otherwise, you could tell that emotionally, I definitely was not available. But he also told me that I would probably never be the kind of girl that guys hit on in bars, that that is just not the kind of attractiveness I possess. And now here I am, mostly healed and whole, so much so that if I so choose, I can flirt with a Random Straight Guy in a bar and not feel a fool for pursuing something hopeless, and actually have them flirt back. And I can also not, I can not flirt at all. And to have that, to have that choice, the realization that I do have that power that I never thought I did, to weild as I so choose, and that nobody else has any say or control over it, no one can take it away - that feels really fucking good.
Except that it's all tempered with this feeling of guilt at buying into society's gender roles, etc. - I feel like I'm being a very bad liberal Hampshire student for feeling this. I feel like I'm wrong to feel this. I feel like I should feel bad about myself, that I should feel disgusted with myself for getting a Random Straight Guy's number at a bar. But I don't, I can't - all I can feel is pleased. And then I feel confused.
I'm bad at rules, whether they're the rules of heternormative society or the rules of liberal anti-heteronormative beliefs. I always seem to follow the wrong ones at the wrong times.
In completely other news, chicken dinner at the house I'm housesitting tonight, courtesy of Cora's mad cooking skills! And Settlers of Catan! Who's in? |
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| What color are their hands now? |
[Jul. 8th, 2008|01:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused, and pleased | ] |
Somehow in my childhood, I managed to never watch Muppet movies. For those of you who have had any glimpse of my various childhood cultural influences, this may come as a surprise, because they fit unbelievably neatly into all the other slightly bizarre favorite entertainments I had. However, this evening I watched The Great Muppet Caper, only the second Muppet movie I have ever seen (the other being Muppet Treasure Island, an odd couple, I know), and holy fuck. What amazing children's movies. They are so socially progressive, while not being afraid to make completely un-PC jokes. I mean, having Miss Piggy crash through a window on a motorcycle and save the day, and then show Animal on top of the half-unconscious female villains going "Heh, heh, heh, WOMEN!" is just pure genius. I was just struck over and over again with all that kind of humor that you would never, ever see in a kid's movie today - the seedy hostel that Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo stay in, the ridiculously reckless driving, the sheer number of meta / self-referential jokes, the countless random acts of sensless slapstick violence - that's what makes old-school kids' movies so great! And the fact that on top of all that they threw not only all this commentary on gender roles and stereotypes (Miss Piggy as the ideal body type that everybody is amazed by and wants, anybody?), but also the racial stuff (having black ensemble members all over the place, not to mention interspecies (pig-frog) dating) - and it was never even the slightest bit preachy or overbearing - because along with it all, they had all this down-to-earth un-PC humor to balance it out.
Suffice it to say, I am very impressed. I clearly need to watch more of these (because along with all that, the total bizarreness and silliness clearly appeal to me greatly as well); and I will certainly be including them in my children's movie repertoire.
Also, ( blah blah blah I'm a girl )
And now I really must to bed, for I am getting up fairly early in the morning for Zoosday! And then for beaching when it gets to be afternoon and it is too unbearably hot to do anything else! |
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| Forgive me Father but I've fallen in love and that's all I have for confession today |
[Jul. 6th, 2008|11:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | there it is | ] |
Had an excellent Fourth of July, during which much beer was drank, a barbeque was had, tea was drank, croquet was played, a dinner party was had, and fireworks were watched (although they were largely hidden behind a cloud of their own smoke... still cool, though. I like exploding things). And yesterday watched the first Hellboy again with Allie to prepare for the upcoming sequel, and then went to the Daft's and played Settlers of Catan, which, it turns out, is one of the greatest board games ever. And today there is apparently Pirate Tea in the Boston Public Gardens!
Despite the awesomeness of hanging out with people I love and doing lots of fun things, I've been in a bit of a funk. I think it's largely due to being in an In-Between. They always put me in a weird place. It happened last summer, too. It's not overt stress about the upcoming job or anything, it's just - being in between.
And of course, there are other factors as well.
( Don't it always seem to go )
And now I should probably get on with showering, eating, getting dressed, all those morning things, while it's still morning.... |
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| The Force will be with you, always. |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|01:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
So Zombie Kickball was just as awesome as one might imagine. We didn’t actually play, but we did dress up and mill around. It was certainly highly entertaining to watch. By the end, the match was mostly live kids vs. undead adults, which was quite amusing. My favorite zombies were the guy with a motorcycle helmet with a shovel stuck into it (who at one point ran down the first base line and just kept going until he hit a fence and fell over), and the zombie tourists (a couple with big straw hats and Hawaiian shirts and the tourist maps of Portland you can get in all the stores, who just stumbled around the field trying to find their way somewhere…). Also the very small blonde girl completely done up in zombie makeup who was running around growling at people. There was also an outdoor screening of Night of the Living Dead in the evening – what an absolutely amazing movie. I’d forgotten just how good it was.
Ended up staying in Portland for several extra days, for several reasons (including an absolutely lovely day at the beach!), which was all in all a good decision. Although there were some specific aspects that definitely fell in the bitter-sweet category. Suffice it to say - when you've found (or forged) something that's just right, that's just what you need, no more, no less - it's hard when it has to come to an end.
In other news, Wall-E is amazing. Everyone should go see it. I don’t care how you think you’ll feel about it, I guarantee you’ll fall in love with it. It’s impossible not to. Also, Hancock was just as awesome as I thought it was going to be, but completely unexpected in a lot of ways, which was really fun. Also, HOLY CRAP 007 TRAILER I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS GOING TO BE THERE I’M SO EXCITED. Daniel Craig is so hot. And tonight I finally watched The Queen - and yes, it definitely lived up to the hype (but really, it’s Helen Mirren, that’s to be expected).
And now I’m in Newton, housesitting for my aunt and uncle until the 13th, which means I have a nice, big house all to myself. There’s a big flat-screen TV and also a very nice kitchen! Who wants to have movie and/or dinner parties?
Also, Star Wars makes everything okay. (I mean the originals, of course.) A New Hope was on Spike, so of course I had to watch it, and I can’t pin down what it is about them, but they just wrap around me in a way that is different from almost everything else in my life. I mean, Casablanca is still my favorite movie, but Star Wars transcends favorites. It’s on a different level. Like Lord of the Rings (the books). Or the Cape. Those three things just have a very certain effect on me, something that goes beyond comfort. Each creates a space where I can just exist, and everything else fades away.
And now I really, really should sleep, since I've been awake more or less since 4 a.m.... |
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| When I'm home, BRAAAIIIIINNNSS |
[Jun. 26th, 2008|05:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Zombeatles | ] |
Courtesy of my friend with whom I will be attending Zombie Kickball: A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead.
Hee.
Yesterday I was very pleased to discover that Boston’s public beaches are really quite lovely! We went to Carson Beach, down in South Boston, and it was uncrowded, beautiful, with nice water, and cheap food! We were going to go again today, but then the weather was disagreeable. However, I think we will spend the day there tomorrow! Yay beaches!
It is especially nice to have discovered this beach since my few day trip to the Cape was mostly rainy… However, it was still completely worth it. Regardless of weather, it is still my favorite place in the world. I’ve never gone a summer without going to the Cape, so it was necessary for me to go, whatever the weather decided to do. The view from the deck is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen; it stuns me every time I’m there, and I’ve been going there my whole life. I don’t know what it is exactly, but something about that place just makes everything right in the world. I did manage to squeeze in a good swim at Great Pond, which is my favorite place to swim – I can’t even describe how delicious the water is. And we managed one nice sunset, which is one of the best things about the view from our deck.
I swear, one of these days I’ll actually manage to organize some time where a whole bunch of us can go and all of you can finally see what I’m going on about. And then you will understand why I’m always going on about it.
What a fool Ben was – if he hadn’t brought that final factor about, he could easily have gotten another week at the Cape out of me! Silly boy.
And tomorrow evening I head up to Portland for the weekend; I am getting more and more excited about zombie kickball. I think it is going to be awesome. And tonight I’m going to see a midnight showing of Wall-E, which I’m so excited for! There are so many good movies coming out, I can’t even handle it. And of course it’s all exponentially increased by the rapidly approaching BATMAN OH MY GOD I CAN’T WAIT. I’ll be going with my brother at midnight at Cinemark – where will you be? |
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| All we want to do is eat your brains |
[Jun. 20th, 2008|05:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | The Caplafts! | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Re: Your Brains | ] |
Oh man. So I’m (most likely) going up to Portland next weekend (the 27th-29th) to visit people (since now that I’m going to DC I’ll NEVER SEE ANY OF THEM EVER AGAIN) – and it just so happens that the Sunday of that weekend is ZOMBIE KICKBALL DAY!!! Yes, that’s right, a bunch of people dress up as zombies and play kickball! I am so there.
I’m in Boston (well, Cambrige) currently, co-house-sitting for the Caplafts with Cora, and thus far it has been quite a delightful experience. Yesterday I went to the aquarium with Ben Drake, which I have not done in years, and it was just as delightful as I remembered. I love aquariums and zoos so much it’s ridiculous. I am going to spend so much time at the zoo in DC (it’s free!); hopefully someone there will be as into zoos as I am, so I won’t have to go by myself (which I will totally do if I can’t find anyone to go with me…).
And then Cora and Ben and I made the best mac and cheese ever. You think I am just saying that. I am not. It had cheddar and gorgonzola and parmesan and romano and chives and love and amazingness. And crazy gorilla salad. And chocolate cake! And then we had beers at Grendel’s Den, which is exactly as awesome as it sounds. And tonight I’m going to see an Omni film at the Boston Science Museum! Yay!
I have so many dinners and drinks planned with so many people, it’s kind of ridiculous. My stay here is getting increasingly crazy – I’m going to Cape Cod for a few days, and then there’s my trip to Portland, and then all the other plans I’m making… so much so that I literally have to pull out my planner any time I’m talking to anyone about doing anything… But that is a good thing. I was having second thoughts about coming to Boston, since I do have a lot to get done before going to DC. But if I had stayed home, I would definitely just have sat around stewing about things, and that’s never fun. It’s much better to be here running around seeing people than at home stewing.
Speaking of which, last weekend, which was awesome in so many ways, was even more awesome for the fact that I definitely made a big psychological leap in the whole Ben thing: I’ve moved from missing him (although that still happens occasionally) to just being really annoyed that he wasted so much of my time (/I wasted so much of my time on him) in those months after he broke up with me. Because if he had just been honest with me (and with himself) about what he really wanted, then I wouldn’t have been led on, and I probably would have cut him off a hell of a lot earlier. And then rather than being miserable and frustrated trying to maintain something about which we were clearly not on the same page, I could have spent those months engaged in much more pleasurable activities, of which, in retrospect, I could have found many. And that in turn would have started this whole getting-over-him process moving much earlier…. So yes, extreme annoyance has started overtaking any other emotion regarding him; I do believe this is progress. You just kind of wasted my precious time indeed.
And now, courtesy of Letty, who showed it to me, and in honor of the impending Zombie Kickball, Re: Your Brains.
Oh! Also: anyone who enjoyed Iron Man, go see The Incredible Hulk. Not as good a movie, but I promise, it’s worth it. |
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| So... |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|07:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  a little freaked out... | ] |
I got offered (and accepted) the Artistic Fellowship at the Shakespeare Theatre in DC.... I'll be starting work there July 21st, so I'll probably be moving on the 19th or 20th. Right now I'm up in New Hampshire with the gorgeous Letisha, but as of Wednesday I will be in the Boston area until around the 13th of July (for the most part - I'm probably going to take an extended weekend at the end of June/beginning of July to go to Portland or Cape Cod or New York or some combination thereof). And I want to try to hang out with as many of you as possible before I leave New England for a year (the fellowship runs until the end of next June...). Although you are all welcome to come visit me in DC (please)!
Anyhow, that is the big news... besides the fact that DEBI AND NICK ARE NOW MARRIED HOLY CRAP I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY FOR TWO PEOPLE! It was pretty much the best weekend ever. I love everyone who was there, and I pretty much never stopped smiling throughout the entire weekend (well, except for all the crying I did during the ceremony... but I'm pretty sure I was smiling then, too).
So yeah, I have a lot to get done and figure out in the next month... but I better see as many of you as possible in the midst of it all! |
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| It's all over now, Baby Blue |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|12:16 pm] |
It’s been over five months. A month and a half since I last had any contact with him.
How long will this take?
I wonder if he thinks of me as often as I think of him. I wonder if I even cross his mind, or if he’s too occupied with other people, other things. |
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